Cooking for Dummies

Well, I have to take a break from my usually highly technical and complicated recipes; those only to be attempted by the masters; and post something for those of you who are struggling with boiling water. The following recipe is a contribution from a highly "kitchen challenged" individual, whose name I will withhold (for obvious reasons). I would never want anyone to suspect that my dad is anything less than perfect when it comes to the kitchen!!

Dad's Famous Toast 4 U:
This is an old family recipe handed down from my old family.
This is a great thing to cook when you are really hungry and don't
have anything else to eat and Mom isn't home to help.
1. Step one. (This is REALLY important): Find the bread.
2. step two. (This is also fairly important): Locate the toaster.
3. step three. (this is an optional step): Look for the butter.
4. step four: put two slices of bread into the toaster.
5. step five: press down on that thing on the side of the toaster.
6. step six: wait until toaster pushes that thing on the side of
the toaster back up again.
7. step seven: (optional step) put butter onto toast.
8. step eight: Enjoy!

Variations:
Peanut butter instead of butter.
Jelly combined with either butter or peanut butter.
Various different types of bread.

Suggestions:
Don't try this without adult supervision.
Wait until Mom gets home.